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Posts Tagged ‘UNICEF’

boys

July 6, 2020 Leave a comment

📸: The Mail & Guardian

Some time ago, I called a friend to check on her. She’s been in between jobs for some time, even before the lockdown, so I wanted to know how her job search was going. Thankfully, she has some promising leads, but also exploring ventures playing to her strengths. However, what I’d like to discuss came after.

From career to business to family, and then, her love life. Last time we spoke, she had three men talking to her, and I’d given her some advice, so this was more of a follow up. Mr A is a Muslim, and being a Christian, she’s put him in the friend zone. She dodged a bullet with Mr B, a serial womanizer. Mr C, who I had been secretly rooting for, really disappointed me.

I’ll give you a bit of a background. He’s good-looking, intelligent, polite, sociable, well-spoken, and has a high six-figures job. The problem is his personal hygiene; it’s very poor. I won’t divulge the extensive list, but he constantly has BO, bad breath, and days-old used pans and plates in his kitchen sink, just to name a few. The sad part is she’s tried to advise and correct him subtly and lovingly, but he gets upset and defensive. He’s not teachable.

Here’s where I’m going. She talked to an older married woman about it, and her advice was “It doesn’t matter now; boys are always dirty.” Unbelievable, right?
Did I mention, she video-called Mr A twice, and in the background were shirts and pants scattered all over his room?
Her question to me, now, was “What kind of men are being raised these days?”

I think a lot of Nigerian, dare I say, African, parents have dropped the ball here. Their sole focus is to train decent daughters to the detriment of their sons. A lot of these sons have grown up with an indolent attitude towards chores, which eventually affects personal hygiene. In high school, know guys that used a pair of boxers for a whole week. They’d play/work, sweat and sleep in the same pair the entire week. Even in college, a roommate’s friend once bragged that he once used his for an entire month!

Yes, boys don’t like doing chores, but I don’t think girls do either, but they’re made to understand from an early age that it’s non-negotiable. It shouldn’t be any different for boys. Washing dishes and clothes, ironing, sweeping, mopping, even cooking, were non-negotiable for me. As a young boy, my mom made me wash my dishes (as well as my younger sister’s) immediately after every meal, and to wash my underwear before bedtime. As a teenager, it was she taught me how to shave my armpit hair and use deodorant daily. I didn’t enjoy the chores, especially on Saturday morning, but they instilled in me cleanliness, discipline and responsibility. I’m the better for it today.

Please teach your boys to: brush their teeth and bathe twice daily; wash their dishes immediately after their meals; use their underwear and socks once; wash, sun-dry, iron, and fold/hang their clothes; polish their shoes; cook; and so on. Please do, so they can grow to become good “husband material”, not just money-earning liabilities to their dutiful, responsible wives. Let’s raise real men.

While we’re on this subject, I like to address the prevalence of rape in Nigeria. I think this is an issue that has gone unchecked for years, and now, has gone completely out of hand. However, it has, hopefully, at the unfortunate expense of the late Uwaila Omozuwa, finally gotten the [local and international] attention it needs. We need to start by stopping the trend of “blaming the victim” in Nigeria. Rape is only the fault of the rapist(s). It doesn’t matter how old she is, what she wears, where she goes, what she does, how she earns a living, her religion [or faith], or her relationship status. The victim is never to blame. A lady being naked or scantly dressed is not permission to rape. A lady walking alone at night or in a night club is not seeking to be raped. A lady working as a hooker/prostitute or secretary is not permission to rape. As a man, a woman being your bestie, girlfriend, fiancĂ©e, even wife, is not grounds for rape. No girl or woman should be forced into sex against her will. There is no room for coaxing or coercion. She’s allowed to change her mind or say “no”, irrespective of previous arrangements or obligations. No consent, no sex.

I like to add that we should be aware that consent goes both ways. Boys/men are also raped. I think the current statistics, according to UNICEF, is “1 in 4 girls and 10% of boys”. Men aren’t “always down”, so there should be no harassment. They can refuse/turn down sexual advances too. I’m glad to know the Nigerian Senate is looking to revise the criminal code on rape to recognize that both genders can be raped. The code currently only defines rape as an offense against women.

So, please, as we teach our girls to be careful, mindful of their surroundings, and even, self-defense, the boys shouldn’t be excluded. Additionally, both should be educated on “consent” and taught that “no means no”. Most importantly, please teach your boys (who will become men) to always respect girls/women and their choices. Real men respect women and vice versa.

honoranium

July 7, 2009 Leave a comment

Sometimes, I like to type Pearl Creations into Google to see if something comes up and what it is. Today, I did it again and I ran into various forms of “acknowledgments” – some I was aware of and some I didn’t even know about! Here are a couple of them:

1. From a past event: http://www.womenpower.ca/events.php. If you scroll down, you’ll run into a picture with three (3) national buttons. This was from the second event Pearl Creations appeared in – The 2008 Tiara Festival. This is what was stated –  PEARL CREATIONS: If you want to show your support or concern for a country of your choice- Kenya, Sudan, Israel, Pakistan, Iraq, Zimbabwe, you name it. Pearl Creations makes national buttons bearing the flag of any country.

2. From a fellow young entrepreneur and blogger: http://inspiredtosucceedbysituations.blogspot.com/2009/02/check-out-pearlcreationsorgits-all.html. I was shocked to see this. I felt very honored – it’s always nice getting recognition from your pairs. This is what was stated – Hello everyone, the last two post has been about business creativity. I really loved the concept being pearl-creations with the use of the All-Me-Buttons. From my own personal perspective, it takes a very creative thinker to come up with new ideas such as personalizing one’s own personal buttons. Go check them out on their blog and website listed below: pearl-creations.blogspot.com. Have a fabulous Sunday.

3. From UNICEF there was some acknowledgment given to Pearl Creations: http://www.un.org/esa/socdev/unyin/iyd2008.htm. When you scroll down to the arrangements for each country, Pearl Creations comes up as below:

Nigeria:
(i) The YMCA Northern Zone Youth Forum is marking the Day with an 8-day summer camp. Besides regular camp activities, the commemoration includes a visit to the Plateau State House of Assembly to encourage legislators to support action on environmental issues. (More information: simonkaru@yahoo.com).
(ii) A young student who started a company in January this year, to make button badges, will be making and distributing buttons on the International Youth Day (IYD) to tell young people about the part they play in saving the planet. (More info: http://www.pearlcreations.org).
(iii) A road show and an endurance trip from one end of Abuja to the other, which will pass through major city centers and present messages on the theme of the Day. (More information: info@aygf.org; http://www.aygf.org).

I have been trying to get the attention for various schools – particularly mine (McMaster University) and University of Windsor. I finally got the attention of both and on the same day…weirdly enough.
There’s a store in McMaster University’s Student Center called the Union Market. It is operated by the Student Union. It will have the National Buttons and All-Me Buttons up for sale soon.

4. I also got a 500-word advert spot for the National Buttons from the University of Windsor. The ad was mailed to all the students and the Button Up ad was put on the website (http://www.uwsa.ca/pulse/) as well! This is what was stated – Button up! Do you miss home and you can’t go back yet? Is it your independence or national day, and you want to celebrate in a stylish and affordable way? Or do you just want to show your support or concern for a country of your choice? Well, look no further – we’ve got the National Buttons bearing the flag of any country. Represent where you’re from in style and let the whole world know who you are and where you’re from. There are over 100 flags, slogans and impressions to choose from. We take single and bulk orders and offer great discounts. For more information email mr.buttons@live.ca or visit us www.pearlcreations.org.

Perseverance and hard work actually do pay off!

Also, I found this website/program that values a website according to the number of its daily views as well as some other criteria. I tested the website and discovered pearlcreations.org is valued at about $1000USD! Not bad I guess!