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apology

March 7, 2019 Leave a comment

Forgiveness is a very popular subject, and with reason. Arguments usually drag out simply because one person is too stubborn to forgive and the other person is too proud to apologize. It is important to forgive in order to have peace and live in peace. The apology, which is the order side of the coin, is sparsely emphasized, in my opinion. I did a teaching on it during bible study at my church yesterday, and I thought to share.

An apology is a regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure.
This acknowledgement is usually communicated via “I’m sorry”, “I apologize” or some other plea for forgiveness. A sincere apology is remorseful; it is not an opportunity to continue bad behavior. Sorry loses its value when it becomes an excuse to repeatedly offend.

An apology doesn’t automatically result in forgiveness. The onus is on the offended to accept the apology or not. Forgiveness cannot be demanded; demanding forgiveness after offering an apology does not convey regret for one’s actions.

An accepted apology isn’t a sign of weakness on the part of the offended, but a sign of strength; some offences hurt very deeply and can be very painful. An unaccepted apology isn’t a sign of weakness on the part of the offended, some wounds take [loads of] time to heal. I think the right approach in a situation where forgiveness is desired, is to communicate remorse in other ways asides from a verbal apology and/or gifts; I suggest a change of attitude and/or behavior.

I found this during my research and it resonated with me: An apology is remorse followed by silence, space and changed behavior. A real apology is less speaking and more personal work on yourself. A real apology is looking within and addressing what caused you to hurt someone you love.

As the offender, when you apologize, mean it; if you’re not sorry, save it.
As the offended, don’t get hung up over an apology. Don’t wait for an apology before you forgive because it may never come. There will come a point in your life when to have peace, you will have to forgive someone that will never apologize.

You never know how strong you are until you have to forgive someone who isn’t sorry and accept an apology you’ll never receive – Unknown.

Granted, some people won’t apologize because they don’t know they did something wrong, some people won’t apologize because they don’t agree/believe they did something wrong, and some people won’t apologize because they really don’t care how you feel.

It might be a cliché, but forgiveness is actually for your benefit.
If you’re a Christian, part of the Lord’s Prayer says, “Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us” – Matthew 6:12 (GNT). In essence, “Please forgive me God as I forgive others”, or “Please don’t forgive me if I don’t forgive others”. God said, without mincing words, in Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV): “Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift”. God is all about forgiveness and reconciliation; it’s what the Good News is all about!

Another aspect of forgiveness is the forgetting.
Some people say “I will forgive, but I can’t/won’t forget”.
Wisdom demands that you should learn from the experiences of others, but if you have to learn from yours, then please do. Hence, if someone offends you and you have chosen to forgive, learn from the experience [and adjust the status of your relationship with the person, if necessary], but don’t bring up the person’s offence at a later time. If the offender has to deal with the repercussions of their actions, then, so be it. However, that repercussion should be consequential, not retaliatory; meaning whatever you do should be corrective, as a consequence of their actions, not in revenge. For example, if your significant other abuses you ]for the first time], you forgive. If it happens again, you forgive him/her, but break up or move out or get a restraining order. The break up or separation shouldn’t be your way of getting back at him/her (meaning you haven’t forgiven), but simply the consequence of his/her actions – because you have to keep yourself safe. However, if at any point, he or she needs your help later on and you’re in a position to offer assistance, please do. Do not hold the abuse against them; if you do, then you haven’t forgiven or forgotten.

I’ll use our relationship with God to tie it all together.

Repentance is sincere regret (or remorse) for sin and wrongdoing. Therefore, being a [born-again] Christian is about being genuinely remorseful for hurting God and offending Him.

At repentance, God forgives all wrongdoings and wipes your slate clean (2 Corinthians 5:17). Now, once in a while (hopefully), you may slip up and err, it’s called being human. God is merciful and understanding, always ready and willing to forgive. However, you cannot repent of sin and continue to consciously sin, simply because you know He will forgive you. That is taking God for granted; you are not sorry. Don’t take Him for granted. As forgiving as He is, He might punish you, and you won’t like it at all; but here’s the important part – the punishment is almost always correctional.

We are not God, but He expects us to be like Him. Anyway, what I’m trying to point out is God forgives countless times as long as you’re sorry; and you show your genuine repentance by turning a new leaf.

Personally, I honestly also believe that the most sincere apology is changed behavior.

imovie 2019

January 28, 2019 Leave a comment

Happy New Year!

I wish everyone well.

Pearl Kreations is 11 years old today. I thank God for sustaining the company and my adventure as Mr. Buttons thus far lol. Sometimes, I can’t believe how long it’s been!

Well, as has been the tradition for some years now, we will be rolling out some cool buttons in line with some of the blockbusters coming out this year.

Once again, Marvel takes the cake for the most buttons – a whooping 9 out of 11 buttons.In chronological order, we have:

  • Captain Marvel buttons and SHIELD buttons for Captain Marvel – out March 8th
  • Shazam buttons for Shazam! – out April 5th
  • BPRD (Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) buttons for Hellboy – out April 12th
  • Avengers buttons, Iron Man buttons, Captain America buttons, Ant Man buttons, Mjöllnir buttons, and Spider Man buttons for Avengers: Endgame – out April 26th
  • XMen buttons for Dark Phoenix – out June 7th
  • Spider Man buttons also for Spider Man: Far From Home – out July 15th

Since they’re almost entirely Marvel-based, there will be just one collection this year – The Fantasy XIX Collection – with all eleven (11) buttons.

You can order the collection via our Online Shop and Konga.com Store, or order individual buttons (only via our Online Shop). We’re also working on a Jumia.com Store; we’ll have updates on our progress with that on our social media channels – Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

The Fantasy XIX Collection will be available from Monday, February 18th.

The promo video is ready, so please watch and share.

Get set to button up with us 2019-style! 😀

patriot

August 15, 2018 1 comment

For the longest time, I considered myself unpatriotic. It stemmed from a complete disdain and disgust for how things always seemed to work in Nigeria. It wasn’t just the state of the country, it was unapologetic irresponsible behavior of most of those in power. I knew things could be better because from an early age, I was fortunate to spend my summer holidays in the western world and exposed to life in a developed environment. I wondered why Nigeria wasn’t the same. I mean, I learned in primary school that Nigeria has, apart from crude oil, arid land, bitumen, coal, gold and lots more. Nigeria has the makings of a super power, but remains an under-developed country. After the era of Nationalists like Nnamdi Azikwe, Tafawa Balewa, and Obafemi Awolowo, its leadership was consumed by insatiable greed – one after the other, looting millions of dollars from a non-dollar-spending economy, treating the national treasury as their personal piggy bank – to the detriment of their own people.

I noticed the imbalance in wealth distribution from a tender age. The very first time the reality dawned on me, I was on my way to school, in an air-conditioned car, with my dad. As usual, beggars would approach the car for alms. However, on this particular day, an elderly beggar walked up to the car, put his palm on window, and caused a smudge. I remembered thinking, Yuck, didn’t he have his bath? Then, I started thinking about all the things he wouldn’t get to do – he probably would live his  entire life without riding in a car, learning how to drive, being driven, or even enjoying a ride in an air-conditioned car, and none of it was his fault. It made me sick.

As I got older, I realized, or rather, it seemed obvious things would never change. Coming to that conclusion, I felt Nigeria was a disaster, and like so many young people, wondered why I had to be born Nigerian, instead of being from somewhere in the United Kingdom or United States. I became so disconnected and didn’t want to have a thing to do with Nigeria. I never saw myself as someone interested in fixing things, but I grew into someone not even remotely interested in making things better. As far as I was concerned, I was simply whiling away time in Nigeria until it was time to finally leave, either through my Master’s or some act of God. I wasn’t even interested in learning to speak or understand any Nigerian language; I made an active effort not to. In fact, Yoruba was the constant red in a sea of blue or the only F in the midst of As in my results all through high school, and I was never fazed. My WAEC result was no different.

At some point, I felt Nigeria was being ruled by people from impoverished backgrounds. That seemed to be the only logical reason why the moment these people got into positions of power, they would decide to alter/change the course of their future generations by shamelessly syphoning millions. I thought, if only Nigeria could have someone from a wealthy family, or at least, someone who could not be fazed by money, finally, things would work. I didn’t know how wrong I was.

I left Nigeria to redo Grade 12 at Southern Ontario College (SOC) to increase my chances of getting into an ivy-league Canadian University. While at SOC, most of my classmates included those who had finished from schools like Atlantic Hall, Grange, Greensprings, Lagoon, Olashore and co. In my mind, these were the cream of the crop. There were few very government-educated people, except for me from Federal Government College Lagos (Ijanikin) and some ladies who finished from Queen’s College. I was finally among people that think like me, or at the very least, those with similar backgrounds. To my astonishment, during a conversation about whether or not to move back to Nigeria, one of the students I met there, who was quite possibly from one of the wealthiest families, said if he got into office, he would take his cut of the national cake. For those who may not be familiar with that phrase, he basically said he would loot too. I was shocked, especially because his father isn’t a politician or politically-connected, so what corrupted him? This was a pivotal point in my life. It became obvious to me that corruption transcends education or pedigree, it is a mindset; a mindset that had, unfortunately, already eaten into my generation.

I was heartbroken. I lost faith in my generation, in Nigeria. I became more resolute in my desire/decision to not return. I loved my country, and I could see its potential, but I wasn’t going to waste my time figuring out how to make the lives of millions of people better when I wouldn’t be able to identify a sect of people I could trust or depend on. I got into McMaster University for a degree in Psychology, started a business in my first year, started another, and then a third business working as a Business Consultant. My life was taking shape rather nicely. In the course of doing business, I came across some concepts I thought could be real moneymakers in Nigeria, so decided to move back for a year or two.

In the summer of 2014, I was blown away. En route to Nigeria, I stopped over in Dubai for an 18-hour layover. Right from the airport, you could already envision what’s to come. I had been through the airport a couple times before – Emirates is my favorite airline – but this would be my first time really taking a look around and leaving the airport for the city. As we being driven through parts of the city, I just shook my head in disbelief. The United Arab Emirates (UAE) is a country just like Nigeria. Well, it isn’t even like Nigeria because they don’t have as many resources as we do, but the one thing we do have in common, they have utilized for the maximum benefit of the Emiratis. I’ve heard people say “Oh, it’s Arab Money”, if you never knew, Nigeria has Arab Money. Nigeria is disgustingly, filthy rich, but some of our leaders won’t let the country be great.

Someone shared an image of a newspaper story from 1973 with me on WhatsApp some time ago that surprised me. I have shared the excerpt below:

nigeria airways 1973

Can you imagine that? The UAE seeking advice from Nigeria. A little over 40 years later, Emirates is the world’s best airline and Nigeria Airways is defunct. What happened?

I honestly believe Nigeria could be infinitely better than the UAE, not only because of its natural resources, but also because of its human capital – the largest in Africa (180 million people); instead, majority of its people are suffering, living in fear, begging for food, sleeping on the streets and under bridges, and dying from thirst, starvation and lack of basic amenities. What kind of a life are my people living? I read recently that Nigeria has surpassed India as having the most people living in extreme poverty in the world – a prediction given by World Poverty Clock barely a year ago. What a shame.

It is pathetic the state this country is in. The average politician struggles to get into office simply to enrich him/herself, not the lives of the people who put their faith in him/her, the people who casted their one vote for him/her. They get into office and begin to misbehave, and if he/she is “magnanimous” enough to fix roads and provide basic amenities, people think he/she is a great person. I don’t dispute that such a person should be commended, but that’s the job they signed up for and what the resources at their disposal are meant for.

A few weeks ago marked my fourth year back home. I’ve thought about returning to Canada several times. I can’t even tell you how many people have asked me why I came from Canada to Nigeria, when people are fleeing/leaving Nigeria for Canada! I won’t deny that there is a sense of comfort owning a British, Canadian, or even, for now, American residence papers, and living a comfortable life, but no offense to anyone uninterested in returning, I cannot be selfish anymore. I can no longer act like whatever happens here is none of my business. I see people who through the actions of visionless leaders, have no/poor education, no exposure, no prospects, no future. I care that the average Nigerian suffers daily just to survive, while their elected leaders live in paradise. Granted, every Nigerian cannot be wealthy, that’s just the way the world is – 1% own 99% of the world’s wealth and all that; my point is the quality of life and cost of living of most Nigerians can be better. I cannot stand idly as our leaders abuse and squander the resources and potential of our nation.

This is not necessarily a campaign; anyone who knows me can testify that I’m most likely the least political person ever. Even if I were to campaign for anything in Lagos (I’m from Badagry), I can’t even speak Yoruba, not very well anyway, talk less of Egun lol. On a serious note though, ranting aside, I’m fed up and I just wonder if there are any youths like me out there – with a similar mindset and relatively strong moral compass – imagine what we could achieve if we band together. Things have got to improve (“change” has been marred by APC) and I certainly cannot do it all alone.

This is more like an appeal. If you love this country and want the best of it, love your people, your family and want the best for them, let’s stand behind a candidate with integrity, with a vision, with a plan, with a moral compass. Life can be better in Nigeria if we, as responsible youths, back such a candidate. Let’s stop voting for parties and vote for the individuals. Nigeria is not a two-party state. It doesn’t have to be one or the more. We don’t have to pick the lesser of two evils. We can make a difference February 16th by electing someone with a heart for Nigeria, a heart for the people, a true patriot. I won’t tell you who; if you know, you know. Fellow young Nigerians, let’s do Nigeria a favor and vote right. Let’s vote in a lion of a president; one without an evil agenda or complacent attitude. We owe it to ourselves and future generations.

God bless Nigeria.

be the salt

June 3, 2018 Leave a comment

Someone shared the post below with me, and as a Christian, I found it thought-provoking. It reminded me that even when the right thing is not popular, do it. You might think you’re not making a difference, but trust me, some people are watching and/or learning and/or changing.

Salt & Light

salt and light

If you were to cook 3 cups of rice, would you add 3 cups of salt to it?

Certainly not!

So, in every preparation of rice, the rice seeds always outnumber the grains of salt, yet a little salt makes a huge difference/impact in the overall outcome.

In the room you’re currently in, look up at the ceiling.
What is the size of the bulb compared to the size of the room? It is probably a ratio of 1:5000.
Yet, darkness flees the entire space once that small bulb is put on.

If I am the salt of the earth and the light of the world, then “little me” has the ability to make big things happen.

Sometimes, because we feel outnumbered or overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude of evil or wrong-doers, we choose powerlessness, and decide to go with the flow, not standing up for what we believe is right.

Little doesn’t mean insignificant.

You are significant. Your presence should make a big difference. Stop waiting to be on the side of the majority. They may be the majority, but they are the trivial majority, and you are the impactful minority.

They are the rice of the world, and you are the salt of the world.
They are the dark room, and you are the bulb, the light of the world.
Make your influence felt!

Remember:

You are the Salt of the earth and Light of the world – Matthew 5:13-14

you and time

May 23, 2018 Leave a comment

I remember when I was much younger, my mom would sometimes sing what I assumed is a line from a song – time waits for no one, it passes you by. She sang that line whenever I was running out of time to get dressed for church or school. I hated hearing it lol.

Hating it didnt make it less true. I’m much older now and I’ve learnt time is a commodity. It can be invested, it can be lost, it can be spent, it can be wasted. It cannot be saved and it cannot be retrieved. The same quantity (24 hours per day) is available to everyone. The difference is how you choose to utilize this valuable commodity. It is a choice. How are you using yours?

I came across this interesting and true spin on time management. I hope it wakes you and helps you put things in the right perspective.

 

Between You and Time

It is a mistake to think time is going. Time is not going anywhere. Time is here until the world ends. It is you that is going.

You cannot waste time. Time is infinite. You waste yourself. You are finite. It is you that grows old and die. Time does not.

Make better use of time.

One of the worst things to do with time is comparing yourself with others. A cow eats grass and gets fat but if a dog eats grass, it will die. Never compare yourself with others. Run your race!

What works for one person may kill another person. Focus on the gifts and talents God gave you and don’t be envious of the blessings He gave others.

Roses smell better than tomatoes, but it doesn’t mean roses can make a better sauce! Stop comparing yourself to others.

You also have your own strength; look for it, use it and build on it. All animals that exist were in Noah’s ark. A snail is one of those animals, and if God could wait long enough for snails to enter Noah’s ark, His door of grace won’t close till you reach your expected position in life.

Never look down on yourself, keep looking up. Remember that broken crayons still color! Do not relent in your effort, keep on pushing, as you never can tell how close you are to your goal. Do not forget you are here to make an impact, which must be a positive one.

Don’t waste yourself ‘cos you can never waste time.

Categories: nuggets Tags: , ,

stranger

March 19, 2018 Leave a comment

I don’t remember where I saw this write up, but I loved it and saved it. Do have a read and if it’s not too late for you, adjust accordingly.

The Stranger

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer, and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mum taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger…he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries, and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present, and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first Premiership game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn’t seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mum would get up quietly, while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. I wonder now, if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home – not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears, made my dad squirm, and my mother blush. Dad didn’t permit the liberal use of alcohol, but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked…and never, not once, asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents’ den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?

We just call him TV.

Note:
He has a wife now….Computer.
Their first child is Cell Phone.
Their second child Video Games.

They now have a wonderful grandchild, she is a genius!
She is fondly called WhatsApp.
She is nearly more popular than her mom, her older cousin, Facebook, and her new baby cousins, Snapchat and Instagram.

This stranger and the members of his family appear to have taken up permanent residence in our homes and we seem powerless to check their excesses!

money mistakes

February 5, 2018 Leave a comment

A thought popped into my head this morning. A new year typically means new year resolutions. I am sure each and everyone has something they would like to try or do differently. I especially hope everyone with a resolution is able to keep the promises they’ve made to themselves.

I also thought about what the most popular resolution might be and I’m sure it’s probably to spend wisely, or at least, save money – the strategy is usually to spend less and save more/lower costs in order to increase profits; usually by buying what you need not what you want – which could be as simple as asking yourself “What would happen if I don’t buy this?” If you find that you can live with the consequences of not having it, then, move on. For some, that strategy works, but for most, the line between Needs and Wants could get really blurry, so I thought to share an article I came across sometime ago.

The article focused on common personal/business finance mistakes a lot of us make in order to help people save by correcting certain attitudes and habits towards money. I can’t remember where I found it or who wrote it, so don’t give me all the credit. I did, however, tweak a few things and added my thoughts here and there. I do hope you find it helpful.

 

Account Receivables

Please, never spend money you haven’t received. Don’t even promise someone money based on a promise you have from someone else. If you are promised money tomorrow, don’t go out to buy items on credit based on this promise, with the hope that you will pay when the promised money comes; it may not come as promised and this will leave you in problems with your creditors.

 

Bargain Price

Please feel free to either ask merchants for their lowest offers on their goods/services or negotiate. It makes no sense paying an amount for something that is not the minimum you can get that same value for, except, of course, you’ve achieved financial freedom.

 

Borrowing Limit

Please, never lend someone money you are not willing to lose. By the time you lend someone money, be content in your heart that should the person fail to pay, you will not die. You should not even lose that person’s friendship if they fail to repay the money you lent them. If you feel the person might fail to pay you and this will not affect your relationship with them, then lend them money. If their failure to pay would make you hate their entire clan, please advise that person to go to a bank.

 

Business Loans

Please, never borrow money that accrues interest to start a business (except if you are paying for it through your salary) because business takes a long time to gain ground and begin making profit, but most repayments must be made within a month of taking the loan or earlier. You should only borrow to grow your business. Again, never borrow money to start a business expecting that the business will generate enough income to pay back the borrowed money, plus the interest. If you do, you will only put undue pressure and strain on yourself and the business respectively.

 

Good Fortune

If you get the opportunity to meet a very wealthy person, please, never ask for money. Ask for advice and ideas on how to make money. They may choose to give you money on their own because of how ambitious or industrious you are, but let getting money from them never be your objective.

 

Guarantor Services

Please, never append your signature to guarantee someone on a financial matter if you are not willing or able to pay the money on their behalf.

 

Invest Savings

Please don’t simply stop at stuffing money in your savings accounts. Well, it’s alright to do that, but the issue with that is the money doesn’t grow rapidly, and may overtime, due to inflation and the likes, lose value. That is why it is important to put your money in investment vehicles – not in a business – that can grow your savings.

 

Savings Discipline

Please be disciplined. If you want to save, whenever you receive money, don’t spend and plan to save whatever remains. That never works because as long as there is money to spend, there will be numerous things you can spend it on. However, when money to spend is not available, you will naturally find a way to do without it! Therefore, henceforth, before you spend any money, put your savings aside first and forget it exists; then, make do with what you have left after saving.

You also shouldn’t keep money you don’t intend to use in the short-term within easy reach – in a bag, in a pit, in your socks, under your pillow – or else, some unexpected expense will gobble it up. If you don’t want to lose your money, put it away somewhere you can’t easily get to it.

 

Yes Man

Please stop trying to save everyone in financial need; you are not Jesus. If you find it so hard to say no to a request for financial assistance, in a bid to practise generosity, you’re actually committing financial suicide and working towards a life of misery. If it’s going to be inconvenient, or make your financial goals unattainable, just say no.

 

Multiple Streams

Please get a side hustle or a couple of them. It is unwise to depend solely on one source of income. It is easier to meet financial obligations with multiple streams of income. Be careful not to increase your spending drastically because you have more money. As your income increases, try to manage your expenses, so you’re not consistently spending most or all of your earnings!

 

I wish you well on your savings journey.

Please don’t waste your money.

Money in the Trash

Hopefully, this isn’t too late, and by the end of year, you would have reached your personal and/or business savings target(s).